As suggested by Caution: It's Not All About the Sexual Experiences, unwanted and abusive sexual experiences in childhood are never disconnected from the rest of a child's life. This also means that the consequences of such experiences can be quite complex – and take time to sort out, understand, and deal with in healthy ways.

In this brief overview, we give a sense of this complexity and bring some order to it.

First of all, these experiences happen to children and teenagers who are developing in many ways, including:

• Cognitively and emotionally.
• In capacities for relationships with peers and adults.
• As moral beings with values learned from others and increasingly chosen for themselves.
• As boys heading toward manhood.

These aspects of development are interwoven. What's going on in one effects the others. For example, the kinds of relationships we have are determined by how we think, by how we deal with our emotions, and by what we believe and value. And our thoughts, emotions and values are influenced by our beliefs about how we should "be a man."

Unwanted or abusive sexual experiences can impact – and shape – all aspects of development. This has been shown by decades of scientific research, and is discovered every day by men who have had these experiences and the people who know them well.

In addition, several factors have been found to influence impact of unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood:

• Age of the child when the experiences happened. Younger is usually more harmful, but different effects are associated with different developmental periods.
• Who else was involved. Effects are generally worse when it was a parent, step-parent, or trusted adult than a stranger.
• Whether the child told anyone, and if so, the person's response. Doubting, ignoring, blaming and shaming responses can be extremely harmful – in some cases even more than the sexual experiences themselves.
• Whether or not violence was involved, and if so, how severe it was.
• How long the experiences went on.

Other factors that are difficult to research, and may differ in significance for particular individuals:

• Whether the experiences involved deliberately humiliating the child.
• How "normal" such experiences were in the extended family and local culture.
• Whether the child had loving family members, and/or knew that someone loved him.
• Whether the child had some good relationships – with siblings, friends, teachers, coaches, etc.
• Whether the child had relationships in which "negative" and "vulnerable" feelings were acceptable, and could be expressed and managed in safe and healthy ways.

Some of these factors reflect how "abusive" the experiences were, and some the "relational context" of the experiences and the child's reactions. Both types of factors are extremely important.

A great deal of research has been conducted, and continues to be conducted, on how such factors determine the outcomes of unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood. Factors that increase the likelihood of negative outcomes have been referred to as "risk factors," and ones that decrease the likelihood of negative outcomes as "protective factors."

Every man who has had such experiences is different, and has a unique combination of risk and protective factors that have influenced the effects in his life.

Some bottom lines and suggestions:

• The effects of unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood, and what determines such effects, can be very complex.
• It can be helpful to learn about how such experiences can – depending on a variety of other factors – affect various aspects of boys' and men's lives.
• You don't have to "figure everything out," which may not even be possible, especially in the short term.
• It's helpful keep in mind the "big picture" and avoid over-simplifying things too much.

The question with an answer available now is:

• Are Childhood Sexual Experiences a Cause of My Problems?