Here we tell you about ways to find therapists where you live who have the right experience, training and knowledge.
But first, you should know about good web resources on how to choose and evaulate potential therapists once you've gotten some names and numbers.
We strongly suggest reading these articles before seeking or contacting potential therapists in your area. For example, as these articles suggest, it is important to "interview" at least two or three potential therapists, rather than committing to the first one who seems to know what he or she is doing.
The national phone hotline (800-656-4673) and 'online hotline' of RAINN are 24/7 services that automatically link callers and chat users to trained volunteers and paid staff members who can give you names and numbers of local organization that know appropriate local therapists. All calls are confidential, and callers may remain anonymous if they wish.
MaleSurvivor has an online Find a Therapist resource. Neither we nor MaleSurvivor can evaluate or vouch for the competence of the therapists who list themselves with this resource, but this may be a good sources of leads.
The Sidran Foundation has an extensive list of therapists and clinics around the country that specialize in treating people with histories of mild to severe childhood adversities or abuse. See their page About the Help Desk. Again, neither we nor the Sidran Foundation can vouch for every therapist on the list, but they can usually, at a minimum, provide some good leads.
As described elsewhere, EMDR is a therapy proven to help people transform traumatic memories into nontraumatic ones, and particularly suited to men who do not want to talk about what actually happened. It is also practiced by thousands of therapists around the world, many of whom are very experienced at working with men with histories of unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood. You can find EMDR therapists through the Find a Therapist service of the EMDR International Association. EMDRIA's primary objective is to "establish, maintain and promote the highest standards of excellence and integrity in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) practice, research and education."
Finally, The Consumer's Guide to Psychotherapy, by Drs. Jack Engler and Dan Goleman (author of the best-selling Emotional Intelligence), is an excellent book available in paperback from Amazon, both new and used (some really cheap), and may be in your local library. Though it was published in 1992, and is not up to date on the latest treatment innovations, this book has a great deal of timeless wisdom about choosing a therapist, the nature of therapy, different schools of therapy, etc.